Sometimes when I sit down, I start to think. Think about what I have went through these few years. I always look at my past but someone told me dont even peep. Just move on and dont look back. But actually by looking back, it help me to be a better person.
I was all along lucky especially at work. Most of the times, my bosses like me because I am willing to learn, work hard and I am someone that has lot of ideas to get thing done. But I do have an attitude problem I guess. I will disagree with my boss if I think he is not right, I will sometimes refuse to listen if I feel that they are only wasting my time. I even quarrelled once with my MD and told him that yes I am thinking of resigning.....I was so closed, so closed to being fired by him. I guess maybe he cant find a good reason to fire me so I was saved!
I had quite an interesting period last 2 years. Especially when I started to play Human pets and know so many online friends in there. From there, U get to know a lot of peoples that are somehow "lost" in their real life. Is true, the right word is lost....which is why most of us spend a lot of time online chatting with strangers/friends to find our light and also our soulmates that understand how we feel even when we dont know each other.
Is strange how we can just say out all our feeling to people that we never met but yet we cant tell someone how we feel when they are besides us. From there, we also fall in love ....fall in love with people that we imagine they are and also fall in love with people that make us change somehow.
I am now quite a different person from what I was and I must say I like it this way. But I do feel strange sometimes, feel that I am not me. It made me freak out too.
Right now, I feel so bored and unsure if this is the type of life I want. But yet I cant answer to myself what I really want as well. Can you ?
I was watching a movie on Friday, there is a line that they quoted from Gandi " Nearly everything you do is of no importance, but it is important that you do it."
Saturday, October 24, 2009
Saturday, October 3, 2009
Moonlight shining on me
Today is the moon cake festival which mean is the Lunar August and 15th day. On this day, usually the kids will take out their lantern and play, all of us will eat mooncake with tea. Sometimes, we will also eat pomelo which I love.
My friends were just laughing at the fact that I dislike all festival & actually I only like Mooncake festival. I will tell u all later in my future blogs why i dislike the other festive season since I will explain why I Mooncake festival. I guess maybe because I like moon, I love to eat mooncake and also I like to see the light from the lantern ? Besides, they always say there is a goddess staying inside the moon with a bunny. There was a very touching love story behind it hence to remember the moon, we celebrate this festival.
As I am a rabbit sign, they said if I pray to the moon on this day, I will be blessed with love. :) Last 3 years I have been praying but always found out later I was just praying to the reflection (LOL) since my block cant allow me to see the moon. BUT this year, I finally got to see the moon and pray to her....
In fact, I always talked to her as she know exactly how i feel and think.....dont think I am crazy but this is the way I always do...talk to the Goddess in the moon....hahahaha
What have I prayed for ??? hee hee secret lah cant tell u all ;P
My friends were just laughing at the fact that I dislike all festival & actually I only like Mooncake festival. I will tell u all later in my future blogs why i dislike the other festive season since I will explain why I Mooncake festival. I guess maybe because I like moon, I love to eat mooncake and also I like to see the light from the lantern ? Besides, they always say there is a goddess staying inside the moon with a bunny. There was a very touching love story behind it hence to remember the moon, we celebrate this festival.
As I am a rabbit sign, they said if I pray to the moon on this day, I will be blessed with love. :) Last 3 years I have been praying but always found out later I was just praying to the reflection (LOL) since my block cant allow me to see the moon. BUT this year, I finally got to see the moon and pray to her....
In fact, I always talked to her as she know exactly how i feel and think.....dont think I am crazy but this is the way I always do...talk to the Goddess in the moon....hahahaha
What have I prayed for ??? hee hee secret lah cant tell u all ;P
Friday, September 18, 2009
Time traveler's wife
Its been a long time since I watched movie alone. The first time that I watched movie was when I was very very upset over my first ex bf. I remembered that feeling even till now how lonely it was to watch movie alone and since then, I have never watch any show alone.
However today, I suddenly feel like watching a movie alone again. So after the lunch with my friends, I took a bus to town to watch Time traveler's wife which my friends told me they read the book and the book is really good.
This time sitting in the cinema alone dont feel so bad anymore. In fact, I kind of like the feeling of doing something on my own for myself since i FEEL like it.
It is a romance abt this guy, Henry who can travel thru time falling in love with his wide Clare and how they went thru their marriage. It is a very touching movie and I must say I like this show. Somehow I feel that the actor only really get into the role later part of the movie but the actress is great. We can see the love right from the beginning.
However, this show create a stir of feeling within me when I watched it. Being able to travel thru time can be great. Imagine how many times in our life we always think that it will be great if we are back to the moment we wished we are. Back into someone's arm, back to the time that we are still in love, back to the time that we always have our memories flashback. But yet at the sametime, imagine we have to see how we lost the someone over and over again as well? Whenever we see the same situation and we try to prevent it a thousand time yet the fate remains unchanged. The question will then be ARE u able to go thru the pain over and over again ???
Perhaps someone...maybe yourself will tell u that even without time travelling, we ALLOW ourself to indulge in whatever we want to see, whatever we believe and allow ourselve to go thru the pain over and over again. Why do we do that ? Simply because we want to feel the love, we want to feel the moment that we are in love again. It is worth it ? Noone know the answer except you.
In the movie, other then Henry, I also thought abt Clare's feeling especially when the husband past away. She still kept the hope that he can travel back in time and with that hope in her, how is she going to survive the rest of her life ? To stay alone and just live with the past love and the hope that once in a while she get to see him and to hug which all of us do it every every single time ? Or to let go ?? so then she can finally get to hug someone in real and be really happy ? and not allow her feeling to fly high and drop every time he appear and disappear again ??
Well, I dont know what is right as love conquers everything in your heart. But watch the movie or read the book and think hard, perhaps then you can find the answer of what should u do.•.¸ .•´`♥
However today, I suddenly feel like watching a movie alone again. So after the lunch with my friends, I took a bus to town to watch Time traveler's wife which my friends told me they read the book and the book is really good.
This time sitting in the cinema alone dont feel so bad anymore. In fact, I kind of like the feeling of doing something on my own for myself since i FEEL like it.
It is a romance abt this guy, Henry who can travel thru time falling in love with his wide Clare and how they went thru their marriage. It is a very touching movie and I must say I like this show. Somehow I feel that the actor only really get into the role later part of the movie but the actress is great. We can see the love right from the beginning.
However, this show create a stir of feeling within me when I watched it. Being able to travel thru time can be great. Imagine how many times in our life we always think that it will be great if we are back to the moment we wished we are. Back into someone's arm, back to the time that we are still in love, back to the time that we always have our memories flashback. But yet at the sametime, imagine we have to see how we lost the someone over and over again as well? Whenever we see the same situation and we try to prevent it a thousand time yet the fate remains unchanged. The question will then be ARE u able to go thru the pain over and over again ???
Perhaps someone...maybe yourself will tell u that even without time travelling, we ALLOW ourself to indulge in whatever we want to see, whatever we believe and allow ourselve to go thru the pain over and over again. Why do we do that ? Simply because we want to feel the love, we want to feel the moment that we are in love again. It is worth it ? Noone know the answer except you.
In the movie, other then Henry, I also thought abt Clare's feeling especially when the husband past away. She still kept the hope that he can travel back in time and with that hope in her, how is she going to survive the rest of her life ? To stay alone and just live with the past love and the hope that once in a while she get to see him and to hug which all of us do it every every single time ? Or to let go ?? so then she can finally get to hug someone in real and be really happy ? and not allow her feeling to fly high and drop every time he appear and disappear again ??
Well, I dont know what is right as love conquers everything in your heart. But watch the movie or read the book and think hard, perhaps then you can find the answer of what should u do.•.¸ .•´`♥
Wednesday, September 16, 2009
The story we tell in our photographs
The first time that I used a camera was when me & my gf went to HK and we bought a dummy camera which means those instance camera and film in one set. To our horror, the only photo that look really nice was the one taken by a stranger for both of us. The rest of photos are either blurred or we are too small to see us. LOL.
Then when I went to Seoul, my auntie lent me her normal Olympus which I believe I took like one or two rolls of film. From there I start to like to take photos and realised that it always look nice when we wear red for photoshooting :P
The first digital camera that I had was a Pansonic FX7. It is a good camera especially when u take portraits photo. Somehow you just look like you have a smoother skin or a slimmer body ...lol . I must said that I liked the camera a lot but I hate the fact that the battery always flat too easily and I have this urge to change it to Canon when I saw my friend's photo using her Canon.
So last year's birthday, I bought my Canon IXUS 870 in Champagne gold colours :) Since then I dont know when, I got addicted to taking photos. As I slowly observed how the rest took photos, I slowly learn to catch different angles etc . Jon, my photographer friend start to encourage me to post my photograph in http://www.flickr.com/photos/41842634@N05/ and I am totally addicted to it !!! Seeing how people took photos etc inspire me a lot.
The photographs that we took tell people or remind us of our story. The journey that we have took, the memories with whom that we have shared with.
Other than that, the photograph also show the photographer's characteristic, their emotion and their thought. I saw some people that took a lot of streets photo...somehow I can feel that they feel lonely. Some people like to take a lot of photos on sky, sun, sea....generally those peoples are those that think a lot....hence they always like to escape to those places to distress, to release their thoughts. There also also Asian that took a lot of photos on food :P that because Asian love to eat !
Have you observe what you like to shoot ? If you ever feel lost, try to look at your photos again. They will remind you of your story and they may lead you back on track. Well, I know I love to take photos with pink in it :P •.¸ .•´`♥
Then when I went to Seoul, my auntie lent me her normal Olympus which I believe I took like one or two rolls of film. From there I start to like to take photos and realised that it always look nice when we wear red for photoshooting :P
The first digital camera that I had was a Pansonic FX7. It is a good camera especially when u take portraits photo. Somehow you just look like you have a smoother skin or a slimmer body ...lol . I must said that I liked the camera a lot but I hate the fact that the battery always flat too easily and I have this urge to change it to Canon when I saw my friend's photo using her Canon.
So last year's birthday, I bought my Canon IXUS 870 in Champagne gold colours :) Since then I dont know when, I got addicted to taking photos. As I slowly observed how the rest took photos, I slowly learn to catch different angles etc . Jon, my photographer friend start to encourage me to post my photograph in http://www.flickr.com/photos/41842634@N05/ and I am totally addicted to it !!! Seeing how people took photos etc inspire me a lot.
The photographs that we took tell people or remind us of our story. The journey that we have took, the memories with whom that we have shared with.
Other than that, the photograph also show the photographer's characteristic, their emotion and their thought. I saw some people that took a lot of streets photo...somehow I can feel that they feel lonely. Some people like to take a lot of photos on sky, sun, sea....generally those peoples are those that think a lot....hence they always like to escape to those places to distress, to release their thoughts. There also also Asian that took a lot of photos on food :P that because Asian love to eat !
Have you observe what you like to shoot ? If you ever feel lost, try to look at your photos again. They will remind you of your story and they may lead you back on track. Well, I know I love to take photos with pink in it :P •.¸ .•´`♥
Tuesday, September 15, 2009
The Pieces Don't Fit Anymore ?
I've been twisting and turning in a space that's too small
I've been drawing the line and watching it fall
You've been closing me in , closing the space in my heart
Watching us fading and watching it all fall apart
Well I can't explain why it's not enough
Cause I gave it all to you
And if you leave me now
Oh just leave me now
It's the better thing to do
It's time to surrender
It's been too long pretending
There's no use in trying
When the pieces don't fit anymore
The pieces don't fit here anymore
You pulled me under so I had to give in
Such a beautiful mess that's breaking my skin
Well I'll hide all the bruises; I'll hide all the damage that's done
But I show how I'm feeling until all the feeling has gone
Why I can't explain why it's not enough
Cause I gave it all to youAnd if you leave me now
Oh just leave me now
It's the better thing to do
It's time to surrender
It's been too long pretending
There's no use in trying
When the pieces don't fit anymore
The pieces don't fit anymore
You pulled me under so I had to give in
Such a beautiful mess that's breaking my skin
Well I'll hide all the bruises; I'll hide all the damage that's done
But I show how I'm feeling until all the feeling has gone
I don't know why
Well I can't explain why it's not enough
Cause I gave it all to you
And if you leave me now Oh just leave me now
It's the better thing to do
It's time to surrender
It's been too long pretending
There's no use in trying
When the pieces don't fit anymore
The pieces don't fit anymore
The pieces don't fit anymore
Oh, don't misunderstand how I feel
Cause I've tried, yes I've tried
Still I don't know why
No I don't know why
Monday, September 14, 2009
The new beginning
I am someone that think a lot....too much sometimes. I dont like to think but my mind sometimes just flow....From 2008, my life has changed a lot which I might slowly write out what happened later in this blog. But the main reason why I start this blog is to write down what I think and also to write down some inspiration each day. Inspiration from the people I met, the music I listened, the photos I took, the books I read, the movie I watched.
I hope that the inspiration will help me to learn to love life as it is. This is very important to me and in fact to all of us because we always get lost. But if we have a place that we recorded down everything then perhaps it act as a guiding star so that we know our way back.
But before I can have my fresh start, of course I need to thank my soul sister for holding my hand throughout this period and also to teach me how to set up the blog and make it so beautiful. Thanks Lucia as this mean a lot to me. And also thank you for being there from the moment I knew you....we both been through a lot and only us will understand how we really feel throughout this journey that we been through. She is my soul sister whom we both somehow wish that we have swopped. Love U Lucia, always do •.¸ .•´`♥
I hope that the inspiration will help me to learn to love life as it is. This is very important to me and in fact to all of us because we always get lost. But if we have a place that we recorded down everything then perhaps it act as a guiding star so that we know our way back.
But before I can have my fresh start, of course I need to thank my soul sister for holding my hand throughout this period and also to teach me how to set up the blog and make it so beautiful. Thanks Lucia as this mean a lot to me. And also thank you for being there from the moment I knew you....we both been through a lot and only us will understand how we really feel throughout this journey that we been through. She is my soul sister whom we both somehow wish that we have swopped. Love U Lucia, always do •.¸ .•´`♥
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