Almost 100 days

I finally remember my account password ! Its been so long since I am here but not because I am lazy but because I forget my password....finally....

So much things have happened in my life lately that I dont know where to start with anymore.....but what really trigger my urge to write is that is almost 100 days soon but still is so hard to get over the fact. WHY ? WHY u always give all you trouble to everyone's else ? why must the family always the one that help you to pick up the mess? Why u never ever think about us instead of u ?

Do you know she again lost control and threaten to suicide again ? She even told her gugu that she wants the kids to follow. Do you seriously love her so much to bring her with you ? Do you seriously think this is better for the kids ? U so selfish as ever.....

Today her gugu text me and tell me that she knows that we really dote on her too.....but do u know how much we hate her too? I know she is not entirely to be blamed but we just stop the feeling. If the one that died is her.....her family will have treat us like enemy. Just like how they treat Dad last time....how much pain and guilt he went thru and u fucker let him go thru all these again....u know the image of him signing on your death cert keep hurting me....can u imagine how he felt at the moment ??

U never cos u always put yrself in front of dad. U such an idiot ! U not worth thinking of at all.