It's been a while....a long long while.....

I have been thinking about blogging but yet sometimes too scare to blog as I feel like an open book being read....I am starting to worry about people actually knowing what is my mind...funni isnt it ? ...why would someone wants to blog yet scare people know what she is writing....hahaha.....silly ..

I am not sure if my BFF "K" can read this but we went for dinner last month and she asked me some questions which must be based on her observation ...and i was stunned. I am not sure if she read me....or she just trying to prompt the question so that I can think of it but i was like...shit...is it so obvious ? the thing that I have hidden right in the corner of my heart....

anyway...i blew it...totally blew it...they said never tell them what you think....i never even go near there but i kind of give hint...and i blew it.....

perhaps is better this way....at this moment in time, what we dont need are drama and anything that will hindrance what we plan to do....the dream, the goal......

I need a string....to tie the heart down. To lock it still....that should be safe. 

end of 2012 already

I am really getting old...cant remember my password all the time....and i just realised the last blog i have is like last year !

So one year have passed...what did i really achieve this year ? hmmm i try to think hard .....nothing at all...i did nothing that is so impt that i remember .....this is not good....

I need to do something abt my life,....i mean i am okay....not sad....not super happy....but peaceful.....isnt that enough....it should be.....but lately a feel a missing piece....maybe is just bec is Christmas time ?? they say Christmas generally make u feel lonely.....yes i do......heard One Repulic - Christmas without u........love that song...really do....

I am not sad now...just feel something is missing.....i will like to feel meaningful next year....i need to figure out how to make my life meaningful.

Almost 100 days

I finally remember my account password ! Its been so long since I am here but not because I am lazy but because I forget my password....finally....

So much things have happened in my life lately that I dont know where to start with anymore.....but what really trigger my urge to write is that is almost 100 days soon but still is so hard to get over the fact. WHY ? WHY u always give all you trouble to everyone's else ? why must the family always the one that help you to pick up the mess? Why u never ever think about us instead of u ?

Do you know she again lost control and threaten to suicide again ? She even told her gugu that she wants the kids to follow. Do you seriously love her so much to bring her with you ? Do you seriously think this is better for the kids ? U so selfish as ever.....

Today her gugu text me and tell me that she knows that we really dote on her too.....but do u know how much we hate her too? I know she is not entirely to be blamed but we just stop the feeling. If the one that died is her.....her family will have treat us like enemy. Just like how they treat Dad last time....how much pain and guilt he went thru and u fucker let him go thru all these again....u know the image of him signing on your death cert keep hurting me....can u imagine how he felt at the moment ??

U never cos u always put yrself in front of dad. U such an idiot ! U not worth thinking of at all.

I wish you happiness

Is so hard to see you being happy when I am in pain. But is even harder to see you being sad and being in pain. I rather chose the route that at least once of us is smiling.

Kiss & tell

Somehow I know the sunshine girl will know who I am talking about ...and I kind of wonder if the latest fb profile that she post is also related to the same topic.



There are no man reading my blog I guess but if you are a man and you are reading this..I want to let you know that Kiss and Tell is totally unacceptable ! Especially if you broadcast to the whole world the name ! It is so uncool, it is so childish and unacceptable. Whatever your reason of doing that act maybe, even if that woman is a slut, is totally uncool !



Did it occur to you that a ladies sexual reputation is very important to them ? Did it occur to you that it is as impt as your abilities reputation ?



I kind of pity the girl who is involve. I am not sure why did she act and "run away and hide" but guess maybe she regret her action...and seriously I think she should cos in the first place, she shouldnt be kissing a totally childish and uncool man.

Are we complaining too much?

Today I read a blog of my friend which comment abt pp complaining too much...hmm true, sometimes we complain non stop abt our life without thinking that most of the time we are lucky. People complain for various reasons, maybe they need to vent out their frustration, maybe they need to seek attention, maybe they always think that they are smarter than ours, maybe they just lost.

I have an ex-colleague that always complain non stop. Sometimes during a lunch she can repeatly talk abt how bad the food is ...almostg 3 -4 times thru the hour, or she can repeat how silly her boss was to a few of us. I always tell her that she complained too much that is boring us...and her excuses is she need to vent her frustration. But actually complaining can also make it worst. The more you talk about it, the more you feel that you are right ! and sometimes pp hearing your complain might add things or comments that affect the situation even more.

Now I have an colleague that dont complain at all :D No matter what happen, she just bear with it and continue like all those things dont affect her. Sometimes when I feel like talking/complaining, I will feel shy to tell her since she is so collected.

And guess what....in my old company, I feel that I am like my ex-colleague. I saw myself being the pain in the neck. And now......i think soon I might just work and dont complain so much....hahahaha.....is strange how we meet people in different stage of our life to reflect ourself and remains us on who we really are??

I guess that why they say we meet everyone for a reason :)

Testing testing 123

Sorry all, I have not been blogging. U know why ? I have totally forgotten my password :P
well not going to blog today as i am so tired but maybe i will forget my password again?? wahahaha